Whoopty Doo

I am going out and about today. God, even when I doubt, takes care of us. I didn't think we were going to have enough money for groceries this week but looking at the calendar and how the bills fall I even had enough money to put back for next week when the check is going to be crappy! I have worried so much and then let it affect my marriage because of course everything is Michael's fault. I don't know how he puts up with me. He can't help that his back went out and he missed so much work. It's not his fault but I have to run him in the ground like it is his fault. I hate that I let the anxiety and stress turn to so much anger that I hurt other people. I've been doing that a lot lately. Snapping off at people who don't deserve to be snapped off at. It's like I can't help it, I don't think about it before I do it, it just comes spilling out of my mouth and then I feel horrible. It makes me cringe thinking about it.

Anyway, I am going to the grocery. Last time I had a horrible experience and I am going to try and not let my crazy side take over. I mean it's just the grocery.....big freakin whoopty doo. Why be nervous about doing things that are normal everyday things? I wish I could be normal. Oh and it's a snow day here. There is NO snow. I don't get it. My point being that I have both of the kids with me, again, when I go. Jace usually gets me really fired up. We really butt heads!!! He is just like me so I'm pretty sure that's why. So.....I am venturing out. I don't want to get dressed or the kids dressed or get them loaded in the car or take them out of the car or put groceries in the car or take them out of the car and then put the groceries away but I'm pretty hungry and there is little to nothing in this house. I'll update when i get back.

UPDATE:

It started spitting ice....so of course by the time I get ready and get the kids ready and go outside we had to go back in the house. The roads were horrible here wrecks everywhere. You could see the ice on the road in front of my house. Hopefully I can get out tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow....that is yet another challenge. Jace had another basketball game. I hate being around groups of people. I get so nervous. I don't want to go but when it comes to my kids I will always make myself go. Usually if Michael is there I do better. I think he will be sleeping this time cause the game is early. He works third shift :(

So basketball AND the grocery tomorrow. Makes me anxious thinkin about it. I don't want to go alone. But I will of course.