I hate getting stuck in my head. Yesterday was a bad day. I have gained so much weight from last summer being so depressed and now this new medicine has helped pack on a few extra pounds. None of my clothes fit and so when I squeeze into my pants I feel terrible! All day all I can do is think about how fat I am, how gross I look, what a failure I am and how embarrassed I am. These thoughts don't just circle my mind once but time and time again. It is like a bad song on repeat.
My anxiety was up and irritability was through the roof. The thoughts never stop. I am stuck there in my head beating myself up. What good does that do? It only makes me feel worse but I can't be comfortable with who I have become. I can't help the thoughts. Once they are there I can't get rid of them. I sometimes feel like I am going crazy.
Today is another day. Today is a little better. I am a little more hopeful. Life is looking up and I have faith that God is going to pull my family through all that is going on, including my weight issues. I can do it with strength from God if I don't lose faith and focus.
Glad there is a silver lining!
ReplyDeletehi ashlee, i understand what you are going through. i had issues with weight gain as well so i told my doctor i don't want medications that make me fat. so my doctor suggested pills to me (usually newer kind of medications) to choose to take. you can also ask your doctor for this kinda pills. hope you find the medication right for you.
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